I was born and raised on a ranch to a workaholic father and a violent, alcoholic mother, neither of whom were really there for me. They were always off doing their own thing and I was merely a nuisance. My parents’ relationship was rocky from the start. My father was a disciplined worker and never tasted a drop of alcohol in his life. He supplemented it with copious amounts of cigarettes and chewing tobacco. To my knowledge he had no social life to speak of. My mother, also a heavy smoker, drank herself into a stupor nearly every night and enjoyed the night life as if she were single. Their relationship ended first with a separation, only to be “patched up” later on when my mother became pregnant with my brother. Nine months into his life, my parents divorced.
Due to the trauma I suffered even before 5 years of age when my parents finally divorced, I am still able to remember many details concerning the abuse that my brother and I suffered.
My father re-married just a few months before I turned 6. At first, my step-mother was rather warm and receptive of two step-children. It was not until my half-brother was born that she revealed her true self; a ruthless monster bent on emotionally distancing me from my father as much as possible. She hated the way in which my grandparents doted over me and when she finally had my father hooked with another child, she felt no need to wear her mask any longer.
I was an average academic mainly because I was completely bored with school. I realized early on that getting good scores and grades in school was not a matter of intelligence, but of obedience. I was, however, obsessed with educating myself and so became an autodidact in areas that truly mattered, and getting average scores in school sufficed to keep my parents at bay. Thanks to my biological mother, whose only saving grace was her higher education, I was able to read early and advanced quickly in areas concerning literature, language, and writing.
Throughout childhood I showed a natural talent for leadership. In high school I worked my way up to becoming the JROTC Commanding Officer and after graduation joined the Marine Corps as I thought it would offer somewhat of a thrill that had been sorely lacking in my childhood. It did not.
I did, however, meet my wife, to whom I have been married for over a decade. We have four children together. Our relationship has been anything but stable. According to her, I have done pretty much everything wrong as it pertains to maintaining a healthy relationship.
After being honorably discharged from the Marine Corps, I landed a job as a Software Consultant. I was not happy with this job and so within the span of 6 months I learned everything necessary to become a Software Engineer. I have been one now for about 9 years and have, in the past four years, become a database developer to boot.
During my childhood and teenage years I developed a strong interest in computing technology. I can remember sitting on my grandfather’s lap hacking away at his Tandy 1000 knowing that computers were my future.
My father once asked me when I was 12 what I wanted to be when I grew up. I told him that I wanted to be a programmer. Twelve years later I realized my dream and, as it stands now, I live what most would consider a normal work-a-day American life.
More to come…